The Last Lie
by binhereb4
Summary: Post "Sweet sixteen" A one off addition the the ending cos I think there were things left unsaid...


**A one off post "Sweet Sixteen" quite deep but I believe there were things left unsaid...**

_Disclaimer as norm_

**THE LAST LIE**

It had been nearly a month since all the revelations – good and bad – had hit everyone full force in the face.

They had all been trying hard, maybe too hard, to get back to some sense of normality whatever that was in this crazy life that they all led at the Lightman Group.

Eli Loker still had pent up issues that he was hanging on to but trying hard to hide.

His 'radical honesty' had become a little less radical nowadays – apart from his ongoing anger with Cal, he also seemed to have some sort of issues with Gillian that Cal himself had not been privy to.

He still had flashbacks as well – again he hid them as best he could – but Lokers 'best' wasn't nearly good enough to be fooling any of them.

Ria seemed to have taken up Gills former role of peacekeeper and mediator between them all, trying her hardest to mend the breaks, patch up the cracks and fractures that had formed in the 'family'…but she was no 'Gillian Foster' and she was floundering.

They all still worked the cases as they came in, had a few 're connection' lunches, dinners, weekend bar-b q's that Torres had insisted on, but the overall spark and chemistry had gone.

No – not gone Cal mused – changed.

The biggest and most difficult change for him of course was that which was occurring between him and Foster.

She had always been the one person that he believed had never lied to him – could never lie to him he had thought – and yet….

Yes, logically he knew that the tapes were not her fault, nor the murders or ensuing cover up.  
Yet she HAD known a lot more about it than she had ever let on.

That last revelation that she had made to him that night in the office had completely shaken him on many levels:

She _could_ lie and hide things from him.

She _HAD_ lied and hidden things from him

She had done all that because of him – for him! Out of …out of what?

Gillian had said it was to protect him and his family, but he had seen the truth on her face even as she said it.

It was to protect HIM.

It was out of ….love that she had gone completely against her nature and had held the pain of that inside her for seven years, because she was, even at that early stage in their relationship, in love with him.

Gillian had not said the words that night, she hadn't needed to though.

So now, even though he knew that nothing she had done had been out of malice or selfishness, the deception had never been meant to deceive – just protect, but the seed of doubt was nevertheless planted.

Knowing now that she COULD deceive him was enough.

Was there still something more? Would she do it again? What if..

"Cal"

"Yes luv"

Their greetings were the same as ever, at least on the surface, but they both knew there was something just the tiniest bit 'off' – in the tone, in the body language – in the chemistry.

Gillian moved into the room, seemingly as normal but knowing she was studying his reaction to her.

Cal watched her enter and caught the look.

"We are waiting on your input on the Rifting case before we can complete the final report"

"Sorry…Rifting?"

"I sent you the file on email two days ago Cal"

"Oh ..right…sorry luv I'm a bit behind with the email, I err, just been a bit busy with…well other stuff yer know. I will do it luv I promise, before the end of the day yeah – Rifting you said right?"

He started to scrawl the name on his notepad.

Gill still stood there hands in front of her, fingers and thumbs twiddling around each other.

Then she moved and sat down in front of him.

"I will…I WILL do it Foster so please don't start on one of your lectures about…"

"Cal we need to talk"

"About?"

"Us, the team, the company"

"Whoa…that's a bit heavy – W…wot's brought this on all of a sudden?"

"It's not 'all of a sudden' and you know it! Cal – we can't…well I can't carry on like this"

"Like WOT?...Foster, you've lost me luv. I have ..no clue wot you're on about…"

"So you're still hiding then. I'm sorry Cal but you have to come out of your little bubble of denial now because I really cannot do this anymore"

Cal stood up so quickly that much of the paperwork from his desk ended up on the floor.

He leaned across the desk, getting as close to her as he could, balancing on his straightened arms and the knuckles of his clenched fists.

"OK Gillian…You wanna talk – so talk, go ahead – talk to me about how you kept that information from me for 7 years. Tell me about how you convinced me you were such a CRAP liar when all the time you have been probably better than me. EXPLAIN to me how the bloody hell I am ever supposed to look at you again and not wonder if there is anything else I don't know about for 'my own good' Can you do that Gill?"

"I...I can understand your anger Cal…"

"Oh you can understand it can you? Well I'm bloody glad you can…"

Seeing the distress she was now in, the guilt, the shame, the pain…

His whole body seemed to collapse. He desperately wanted to wrap his arms round her, hold on to her as hard as he had that night, but something was still holding him back.

His voice however softened considerably as he came round the desk and crouched down next to her.

"I don't need you to understand it Gillian – I need you to fix it. Help me, please to fix it because I don't want to feel this anger anymore – not towards you – but for the life of me I don't know how to make it stop"

"I thought you understood why…I don't know what else to do..to say Cal"

He stood up and walked towards the window.

Shoving his hands in his pockets he stared at the outside world going about it's business the same as any other day.

What did he want from her?

What would it take?

He knew the answer, of course he did.

"I want complete honesty Gill. I know that's a bit rich cumin from me, but I NEED that from you"

"But I have.."

"No luv – you haven't."

He walked back to her and took her hand. Pulling her up from the chair he steered her towards the couch where he then sat them both down.

"That night – when you had your 'midnight caller' This man..this stranger…issued you with information, and a threat, against a person – me – that you hadn't even met yet. Then …when I did come to your office, at some point, some…pivitol moment you made that decision to keep that information from me"

"I explained that to you.. I needed to protect you and your family…"

He put his hand over hers to calm her.

"Now – I want you to think about that time – think about your decision – the reasons for making it, and …what you told me that night"

Her eyes were darting over his face searching for what it was he wanted.

"I think you told me a half truth Gill, and maybe not just to me but to yourself as well. Now…now I want you to go back over it, in your head, analyse your actions and your reasons for taking them. Then…tell me again why"

Altough their eyes stayed locked together he could tell that she was going back in her mind, re evaluating her actions, her words, her feelings.

She took a deep breath –

"I knew you would go after who ever it was that had come to my house, that you would not let it go…I had to stop you from doing that because …I really believed that it could lead the death of you and your family and I couldn't let that happen…I.."

She felt him squeeze her hands, saw his eyes begging her to work it out.

"Oh God…I couldn't let that happen because I realised ….that …I had fallen in love with you!...Oh my God Cal…that sudden panic, the pain ..I wasn't thinking about Emily or Zoe at all…I was just thinking about you – about how it would kill me if something happened to you…"

"There it is luv! the final piece of the puzzle – the last part of the lie"

Pulling her into his arms he kissed her – so gently. Gill started to sob.

He pulled her closer to him, stroking her hair letting her process the truth that she had kept from herself for all these years.

As she started to quiet, he whispered into her ear.

"I'm sorry my luv, but I had to make you see it – and I had to hear you say it. It's all over now, we're good Gill, we're good luv. Now we can start to mend the rest of the family - together"

**FIN**


End file.
